The Past. Dreadful. Ugly. Wicked. Past. At least that is what mine is. I hate that I did the things I did. And that hurt came unto me. No one really knows my past...I do. God does. It's ugly. And every once in a while it comes back to haunt me. To bite me. To bring me down. And I just need a little reminder. Ever feel like that? I do. Not very often anymore. Thankfully. But, I do, occasionally....and it's hard. And sad. But I am so so thankful that on November 21, 2002 I was saved from a terrible path. Leading me straight to pit of hell. God changed my life and my path. At times I faltered, yes I did. I am no better than any other person. And in this walk of Christianity, there are still hurts and hang-ups.But I believe the bible with all my being. You may not. And for that I am sorry. But I do. I always knew there was a God. But I did not always KNOW him. He has forgiven my ugly, wicked past. He has even forgotten it. I have not. But He is merciful. He is faithful. He is my God. And I am his child. He loves me. He wants me. And for that I am thankful. So very thankful. Sometimes we just need a little reminder. That God is good. So good. And He doesn't want our past to haunt us. But to help us. And to help others. So when the time comes. I trust that the Lord is trying to teach me something. And in turn maybe I can help another along the way. And in doing so, it makes it all worth it. All the hurt and pain. And wicked ugliness. Makes me thankful. Yes thankful even for my past. In all it's ugliness. That I can use it to do something so little as serve the sweet Jesus who gave his life for mine...
So when my world is shaking, and my heart is breaking. I never leave Your hands...
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